Sunday, August 7, 2011

Operation Camouflage

Secret Agent Petra Training for the Top Secret Operation

Secret Agent Petra, aka "Etele" reported for duty on Saturday night at 20:00 hours for a covert invasion of the Angelika Film Center, where no dogs have trod before (according to my intelligence sources). Under cover of night, and using my sturdy RV as a decoy, we successfully breached the security perimeter around the ticket taker and breezed into the movie Guard (ha!). I sat and promptly fell quiet. Not a peep from me. I'm a professional.
Everything went well until about 2100 hours, when people started getting frisky. How is it possible that a dog has less shpilkes than the humans? They get up, they go pee, they open the door, they close the door, they make weird shadows. This made me growl, but I think people thought it was Enchilada chortling. Or her stomach grumbling.
The operation was seriously compromised when I could not repress a lethal fart bomb (courtesy of the Gerber baby food industrial complex). True, this weapon should have been deployed in a different circumstance, (like against Bashir Assad in Syria), but consider it a dry run. Luckily, the couple sitting next to Enchilada thought it came from her, which gave us spies a fit of the giggles, almost undoing my cover up a la Valerie Plame.
I consider the operation an unqualified success. Enchilada, however, vowed never to take me to the movies again . To be honest, I don't get the movies. Why sit in darkness looking at a flat screen, while you could be outside chasing pigeons?

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