Dear Diary:

They put me inside the belly of a plane in a cage for three hours. Did they tell me where the hell we were going? No. Did they ask me if I wanted to go anywhere, let alone emigrate? I know they mean well, but you don't put a two month old baby in a cage. They got me out in Miami, and from there I traveled coach. Not bad, but if you ask me, it's not that different from cargo. There is actually more leg room in cargo.